Starting to blog again gave me the impetus to write my book. It’s been too long since I even thought the idea to write a book. I was so excited about getting past “self doubt” with the blogging, that I called myself out on Facebook by announcing, “TODAY I started writing my book.” I thought if I did that, my tribe would hold me accountable – lol
So some have asked, “What’s your book going to be about?” What is the topic I am most proficient in? It’s ME! At first I thought maybe it was a bit egotistical; but again, my experience can help someone else and, if not anything else, perhaps give them hope. I wrote a few pages and realized I was starting to get choked up; I crumbled that piece of paper and continued on a fresh page. Choked up because I was remembering when my father left us … I was 8 or 9 years old, maybe younger.
One of my biggest emotional scars growing up was not having my father. As I got older and becoming interested in boys, I could not believe they really “liked” me. I often thought if my father left (and I interpreted that as not loving me/us), how could another boy/man like/love me? It was awful. That was the beginning of my low self-esteem; never thinking I was good enough…and then my Mother. She should have been a Drill Instructor for the United States Marine Corps. She was tough ~ and had quite a job on her hands raising two girls as a single parent in The Bronx. I was disciplined for sure, but not nurtured and that was the beginning of my journey, my search for love.
Young, foolish, naive and alone most of the time, I began parenting myself. At such a young age, I was not making the wisest choices and I certainly paid for those bad decisions thru the receiving end of the belt buckle. In grammar school, I was in the color guard. My Mother found out I played hooky from school and showed up at the color guard assembly. She walked right up on stage, picked up my skirt and wacked me with the belt in front of my schoolmates. Right up through my freshman year in college, I was beaten…one time so bad that I wore tights in the summer to hide the belt strap marks on my skinny legs.
My emotions were deeply hidden; I had no one to talk to …. where were life coaches back then? Instead…I began my journey with psychiatrists, psychologists, neurologists, therapists, etc. and anti-depressants….which brought me to my love for alcohol. And so the journey of this alcoholic begins…. and all I wanted was LOVE. Neither one of my parents were taught how to love. Their focus was on ensuring their children had food and shelter and a decent education. After this many years, I have realized my parents were not at fault…they did the best they could. And I had to remember who taught them. LOVE was not high on the list of life’s necessities. I have worked very hard at forgiving them. I have also worked extremely hard on my inner self, realizing what a beautiful person I am and how easy it is to love me. It’s taken years to get here but I’m happy to know that I matter, I have a voice and God loves me.
I have been blessed with teachers of the spirit (i.e. Marianne Williamson) and many others. I continue to learn about self-love and, although, I will tear up here and there writing this book, I am extremely grateful for it all.
Sometimes it is really sad for me after a Discovery Session. I am truly amazed at how many of us grow up believing lies. Unfortunately, many times, it is what we were taught to believe about ourselves. I meet with women for the first time to discuss goals, why they feel stuck and why they turned to a Life Coach.
The responses are quite interesting and filled with hope.
Our actions are always a result of what we “think” to ourselves and then what “label” we give that thought…which, in turn, becomes our behavior. Sometimes that behavior is quite crippling to our self-esteem and our interaction with others.
My belief is that you can have your life go from “good to great”…
False belief systems hold you back from achieving the gifts this world has to offer – AND – holding you back from what you were meant to be.
Don’t sell yourself short ~ YOU DESERVE THE BEST!
If you want your stumbling blocks to become your building blocks, let’s chat. Mucho hugs!
Above is the video link of our closing ceremony at Sunday’s Women’s Workshop. It still brings tears to my eyes…every time I watch it. The ladies were absolutely amazing, participating, shared a tear or two and lots of laughs.
One of the segments of the Workshop was the coaching game ~ I’m not one to boast and when wrong, promptly admit it. Not that I did anything wrong, but this was a new version I facilitated and I stumbled upon the directions and we had a little confusion…but I learned from it and I know it will be better next time.
Our Yoga therapist, Sarah, was fabulous ~ those moments we seldom experience of pure silence and meditation, were precious. I, for one, do meditate on a regular basis but am now more inclined to experiment with Yoga. The definition of connecting my mind with my soul was calm, peaceful, welcome. My wheels are constantly in motion which is why I need that special time to, slow down, calm the brain cells and connect with my spirit, my soul. It certainly helps with the balance I constantly strive for in my life.
I’m a wife, a mom, a grandma, a networker, a community volunteer, a friend….BALANCE is certainly needed. Without balance, I tend to act on overdrive and overlook the inner champion begging for awareness – awareness that she is in there, very much alive and does not want to be overlooked. She is the spirit and champion that catapults me into my journey and to believe in myself.
My inner champion is overlooked when I reflect on my false beliefs ~ I don’t give false beliefs that power any longer. I’m on a journey with my champion and not allowing any negativity from my past to dominate the positive space I am in today….focusing on my future.
I sure look forward to you joining us for the next Workshop which promises to be the best yet. Stay tuned….chin up, shoulders back and breathe. God bless, please take care. Mucho hugs!
It is hard to believe 6 months have passed since I was last here. 24 little hours in each day sure do fill up very quickly. The winter months were a bit brutal and became challenging to get around, but I opened my new office in Bedford Hills, NY. The area is lovely and the referrals were welcomed as a delightful surprise. I continue to meet Clients from my home and meet with Dutchess County clients at Panera.
One of my Clients recently asked, “Why do you meet with your Clients in 3 separate locations?” I responded, “Convenience”. She was surprised I shared “convenience” for them versus “convenience” for me. I have been in several businesses and have learned one thing, for sure. When you make it all about your Client/Customer and provide a feeling of comfort for them, they are more apt to work with you. Yes, it would be more convenient if they all came to me…and that’s how it usually is for those who offer their services at one location.
Taking my business to another level was not just for my satisfaction, but for the Client as well. I am sure you have heard the expression, “What’s in it for me?” Frankly, the answer to that is “more Clients”. Yet, when my Clients achieve their goals, some wish to check in monthly as opposed to the regularly scheduled three sessions. This check in usually takes place on the phone, but most, prefer to visit in person….thus making it a full schedule.
What’s in it for me? I enjoy the relationships being built within my Practice. Some have referred others, either for individual or group life coaching. My passion for taking someone from “caterpillar” to “butterfly” phase is extremely exciting for me. Day to day relationships, the stepfamily dynamics, transitions in career and divorce, addictions/recovery….they all make up who we are. But when one of these issues dominates our day-t0-day in a negative way, it is rewarding to see the positive side reveal itself….but through their efforts. I also like the fact that I get to travel among 3 different locations and my days go fast and are NEVER stagnant or boring.
So even when something becomes a bit inconvenient for you – and you make it convenient for others, the rewards are priceless. Yes, take care of you, but be there for others. I believe, and always will, “It is better to give than to receive” ~ what goes around, comes around.
If you are looking to feel lighter, learn more about your strengths and weaknesses, move fearlessly onto next stage in life and identify your dream and chart a course for action, schedule your Discovery Session today.
God bless and please take care ~ mucho hugs!
As a little girl, I remember my Mom drilling this message into my sister and I. She owned a bar/restaurant in The Bronx. On a daily basis, there were new faces coming into her establishment … some were friendly, some were not. The message of “stranger danger” was received at an early age, but I don’t think they called it that back in those days.
Recently I accompanied my husband on a business trip to Wildwood, NJ. While he was exhibiting at his trade show, I was on the beach. I was not alone ~ I had my book, my laptop, my iPad and my iPhone. 😉 Not far from me was another woman, alone with her tech toys as well. I never saw this woman before and was compelled to strike up a conversation. “Look at those ocean waves this morning.” She immediately smiled and we started a discussion about how hot the day was, how nice it was to be in Wildwood with the summer crowds behind us, how beautiful the sky was, etc., etc. That was the introduction to becoming familiar with each other.
She shared about where her life was right now ~ she was wealthy but alone. No one to share her riches … an ugly divorce now behind her, with children who abandoned her after a long history of alcoholism, she was very lonely. She got sober 6 months ago and is still repairing the damage done. When I shared I was in recovery myself, she light up like a Christmas tree.
What were the chances of 2 women, never having met before, have so much in common. I explained how making amends in sobriety is a process. The steps in Alcoholics Anonymous are in their order for a reason. Her biggest stumbling block right now is patience ~ you don’t get sober and then all is forgiven from the past. You first need to learn about yourself, why you drank the way you did, and how you got to where you are today and hope for the future. I made sure to let her know how much talking with her helped me ~ it allowed me to reflect on how far I have come in my own journey.
I spoke to a stranger today ~ and what a gift! She reminded me of early recovery and the trials/tribulations I faced, overcame and living a life today that is beyond my wildest dreams. I shared with her how my faith in a Higher Power has become the root of all. We laughed, we hugged and she thanked me for helping her have a brighter outlook on her day. TODAY is a gift, this is why we call it the PRESENT.
Enjoy life ~ talk to a stranger and put a smile on their face. You have no idea what that individual is currently experiencing. A brand new face, a new smile, a new outlook is all someone needs. And when a stranger approaches you, don’t be so quick to push them away ~ be the light! We need an abundance of peace, love and understanding in this world.
And after our talk, ah-h … I was filled with gratitude and returned to watching the beautiful ocean waves coming up on the beach and thinking to myself, “You’ve come a long way, baby.” Peace, Light! Mucho hugs!