Starting to blog again gave me the impetus to write my book. It’s been too long since I even thought the idea to write a book. I was so excited about getting past “self doubt” with the blogging, that I called myself out on Facebook by announcing, “TODAY I started writing my book.” I thought if I did that, my tribe would hold me accountable – lol
So some have asked, “What’s your book going to be about?” What is the topic I am most proficient in? It’s ME! At first I thought maybe it was a bit egotistical; but again, my experience can help someone else and, if not anything else, perhaps give them hope. I wrote a few pages and realized I was starting to get choked up; I crumbled that piece of paper and continued on a fresh page. Choked up because I was remembering when my father left us … I was 8 or 9 years old, maybe younger.
One of my biggest emotional scars growing up was not having my father. As I got older and becoming interested in boys, I could not believe they really “liked” me. I often thought if my father left (and I interpreted that as not loving me/us), how could another boy/man like/love me? It was awful. That was the beginning of my low self-esteem; never thinking I was good enough…and then my Mother. She should have been a Drill Instructor for the United States Marine Corps. She was tough ~ and had quite a job on her hands raising two girls as a single parent in The Bronx. I was disciplined for sure, but not nurtured and that was the beginning of my journey, my search for love.
Young, foolish, naive and alone most of the time, I began parenting myself. At such a young age, I was not making the wisest choices and I certainly paid for those bad decisions thru the receiving end of the belt buckle. In grammar school, I was in the color guard. My Mother found out I played hooky from school and showed up at the color guard assembly. She walked right up on stage, picked up my skirt and wacked me with the belt in front of my schoolmates. Right up through my freshman year in college, I was beaten…one time so bad that I wore tights in the summer to hide the belt strap marks on my skinny legs.
My emotions were deeply hidden; I had no one to talk to …. where were life coaches back then? Instead…I began my journey with psychiatrists, psychologists, neurologists, therapists, etc. and anti-depressants….which brought me to my love for alcohol. And so the journey of this alcoholic begins…. and all I wanted was LOVE. Neither one of my parents were taught how to love. Their focus was on ensuring their children had food and shelter and a decent education. After this many years, I have realized my parents were not at fault…they did the best they could. And I had to remember who taught them. LOVE was not high on the list of life’s necessities. I have worked very hard at forgiving them. I have also worked extremely hard on my inner self, realizing what a beautiful person I am and how easy it is to love me. It’s taken years to get here but I’m happy to know that I matter, I have a voice and God loves me.
I have been blessed with teachers of the spirit (i.e. Marianne Williamson) and many others. I continue to learn about self-love and, although, I will tear up here and there writing this book, I am extremely grateful for it all.
How many times have I worked my way back here to this blog only to be distracted and not follow through with my Post. Why?
At first I thought, “am I putting these blogs off for a reason?” What could that reason be? I do enjoy blogging but I have stayed away from it way too long. So what’s the reason? Hmmm….
It’s certainly not laziness, it’s not that I was intentionally avoiding it ~ but I did realize what the issue was. Are you ready for this?
That itty bitty shitty committee was doing a number on me. It was telling me all kinds of nonsense….i.e. it kept telling me no one would be interested in reading my posts and I ran with it. Again, I stayed away from blogging and not sharing my message, my voice. You know what that’s called? SELF-DOUBT! Where does it come from? For me, I can still hear my mother saying I would never amount to anything (that’s another blog).
So as life happens, I had a coffee date yesterday with a fellow networker. During our discussion, she says, “you need to write a book” ~ I told her that suggestion had been made many times over the years and, again, I have put that one on the shelf. Is it self-doubt or am I procrastinating? No…its not procrastination because that’s when you know you need to do something and keep putting it off. I never thought I “needed” to write a book.
But when enough people say you look like a duck and talk like a duck….I must be a duck and many friends and Clients have suggested “write a book”, “share your experiences in a book”. So if I appear as an author from many who don’t even know each other and they have suggested writing a book, I need to revisit. Truth be told, SELF-DOUBT sucks! Yes, I’m guilty of that as well. Fortunately, though, I use the tools I recommend to my Clients; otherwise, I’m just talking the talk and not walking it.
You might ask, “Soooo CoachGlo, what are you going to do about this?” I’m going to do what I would tell a Client:”Apply Motivate essential oil, a little Frankincense on the back of your neck, and cut your crap, start writing.” Stay tuned!
Sometimes it is really sad for me after a Discovery Session. I am truly amazed at how many of us grow up believing lies. Unfortunately, many times, it is what we were taught to believe about ourselves. I meet with women for the first time to discuss goals, why they feel stuck and why they turned to a Life Coach.
The responses are quite interesting and filled with hope.
Our actions are always a result of what we “think” to ourselves and then what “label” we give that thought…which, in turn, becomes our behavior. Sometimes that behavior is quite crippling to our self-esteem and our interaction with others.
My belief is that you can have your life go from “good to great”…
False belief systems hold you back from achieving the gifts this world has to offer – AND – holding you back from what you were meant to be.
Don’t sell yourself short ~ YOU DESERVE THE BEST!
If you want your stumbling blocks to become your building blocks, let’s chat. Mucho hugs!
Above is the video link of our closing ceremony at Sunday’s Women’s Workshop. It still brings tears to my eyes…every time I watch it. The ladies were absolutely amazing, participating, shared a tear or two and lots of laughs.
One of the segments of the Workshop was the coaching game ~ I’m not one to boast and when wrong, promptly admit it. Not that I did anything wrong, but this was a new version I facilitated and I stumbled upon the directions and we had a little confusion…but I learned from it and I know it will be better next time.
Our Yoga therapist, Sarah, was fabulous ~ those moments we seldom experience of pure silence and meditation, were precious. I, for one, do meditate on a regular basis but am now more inclined to experiment with Yoga. The definition of connecting my mind with my soul was calm, peaceful, welcome. My wheels are constantly in motion which is why I need that special time to, slow down, calm the brain cells and connect with my spirit, my soul. It certainly helps with the balance I constantly strive for in my life.
I’m a wife, a mom, a grandma, a networker, a community volunteer, a friend….BALANCE is certainly needed. Without balance, I tend to act on overdrive and overlook the inner champion begging for awareness – awareness that she is in there, very much alive and does not want to be overlooked. She is the spirit and champion that catapults me into my journey and to believe in myself.
My inner champion is overlooked when I reflect on my false beliefs ~ I don’t give false beliefs that power any longer. I’m on a journey with my champion and not allowing any negativity from my past to dominate the positive space I am in today….focusing on my future.
I sure look forward to you joining us for the next Workshop which promises to be the best yet. Stay tuned….chin up, shoulders back and breathe. God bless, please take care. Mucho hugs!
Happy 2016 – trust you had a great Holiday Season and that all is well. Our annual visit with family to California was awesome, creating new memories, long trip, short stay – but certainly all worthwhile.
So within the last few weeks, I have met with individuals creating their New Year – this was done via a Ladies Vision Board Workshop I hosted earlier this month – it was such a success, I am doing it again in February. In our discussions, it was revealed to me how unhappy most women are. They put their goals and dreams on hold to take care of others; and frankly, in my generation, that was the message early on. However, as time has passed you start to see some rewards, and yet a lot of setbacks with this type of thinking.
We have fallen somehow into codependency mode whether it be with family, a relationship, co-workers, friends. Now it’s not to say we shouldn’t be there for others, but damn….some take it to an entirely new level. Let’s take, for instance, some women/men with their young adult children, they become so enmeshed in their lives and lose sight of themselves. Our greatest gift to children is roots and wings – let them fly.
But back to your dreams and goals….because of that enmeshment you have overlooked what makes YOU happy. You put your goals on hold and they have been there and will remain indefinitely. Then the kids go to college, start their careers or businesses and now YOU don’t know what to do with yourself. Hence, the Vision/Dream Board…try it!
At the Workshop the women experienced laughter, tears of joy and hope for their future. It’s not just about cutting/pasting images on a Board – it was the whole experience shared with other women, saying out loud what YOU want in life – I cannot wait until our next Workshop. It’s exhilerating to see women come to life.
So on my Vision Board I had an image of a historical home in Bedford Hills. This home has an attic/loft which was what I had dreamed of having to meet with Clients in that area. As much as I enjoy meeting at Panera Bread and Starbucks, this particular location kept pulling my attention to open an office here. I will, though, continue to coach via Skype for national Clients.
After praying on this and sharing it with the Universe and others, it has become a reality. Now I had been thinking about this since Nov 2015 and here we are in January 2016 and I am moving in February. The Vision Board works….you look at it every single day in an area of your home or office and it is a constant reminder of what you want in YOUR life. Hokey you might think? I think not….from my experience, I have seen many dreams comes to life.
The aromatherapy and spiritual jewelry line (www.gloriafavreau.com/successories) was a dream I had for many years….Voila, it’s here. Click on Blog: “It’s Starting To Make Scents”….that, too, was on my Vision/Dream Board.
So when you are ready to start putting YOU first and creating or working towards what YOU want in life, changes you may want in life….start with a Vision Board or take pics and upload to your smart phone and look at those images every single day. With life keeping us as busy as it does, the distractions and challenges, it is very easy to forget or overlook YOU.
And many times, you just need that push, that individual that will hold you accountable ~ if you are ready to be a new YOU, (sometimes just a lil’ tweak)… I’m here. Life coaching is a partnership, focusing on your goals and your results. Let’s do this. Start LIVING your DREAMS ~ be happy!
Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I thought about all the different names Moms are called … Mommy, Mom, Madre. And Grandmas (in our family) have all kinds of names like Grammita, DD, GG, and my favorite, Grandma.
It is interesting to observe how some react to the names they are called … and it’s not just these names.
What about the names you were called when younger and in school? I had a few … Peanut, Sunshine (my college nickname), Tiny and Frenchie (don’t ask).
Today most call me “Glo”, but I have other names too … Mom, Honey, Grandma, Titi, Madrina … and it continues.
How does it feel to you when someone calls you by a nickname?
Google web defines “nickname” as: “familiar or humorous name given to a person or thing instead of, or as well as, the real name”.
Thru my sessions, Clients have shared a great deal about some of the names they were called, i.e. “stupid, fat, skinny, flatfoot, dumbie, jerk ~ Others had names, i.e. “showoff, conceited, teaser, lazy, loser”… and the list is endless.
For some, unfortunately, some of these “nicknames” became labels they attached to themselves ~ took those labels with them right into adulthood and, in fact, what occurred was that it affected their self esteem. All the shame that is attached to some of those negative names.
If I had to pick the most popular topic my Clients share with me, it would be “self esteem”… and for those who found it difficult to release some of those negative nicknames, their lives became quite challenging. Whether they turned to promiscuity, addiction, gambling, shopping, etc., it is often to fill that void that they turn to this negative behavior.
What nicknames do we use today? We are moving in such a positive direction, it’s contagious and I see it and hear it everywhere.
I nicknamed my first grandson, “Einstein”… others I’ve heard are, “SuperStar, Shining Star, Angel, Love of my Life”.
What nicknames did you have, do you have? Are you living up to them where they still keep you down? Are you living with the positive mindset from those nicknames? Did you ever have a nickname? Did you change your name?
Alot of times the answers to these questions reflect on how you feel about you ~ again, that self-esteem. And I always say, the most important relationship you can have in life is the one with YOU. What’s your name? If you could change your name, what would it be?